Crazy Stupid Love 3

Photo credit: Google images.

For days I heard nothing from Zachary. It was like he was waiting or busy or both. And I was busy with training also, came back to my room worn out and exhausted everyday. The commandant was making googly eyes at me, he has been making passes at me for sometime but nothing serious till today when he asked me to stay behind to have a word with him. I did. He cunningly asked me to be his mistress and offered me the world in return. It reminded me of Satan tempting Jesus by taking him to the mountain top and offering the world and It’s treasures in exchange for worship. I coyly said no, and that I was married and a devout Christian. And added that if i were neither he would be my first choice, to save his pride and also insure myself against his anger of my rejection later. It worked.

I was also in a dilemma of sorts with the calling thingy. I call, and I appear anxious. I don’t call and I come across as uninterested. A guy can only try so hard to be a part of your life, especially the kind of guy I perceive Zachary to be. So I decide to walk on safe ground, the one between anxious and uninterested. I send a text, saying hello and this is my number. I left out the part about asking him to call, now the ball was back in his court. I mentally hi-fived myself and did a little victory dance. What I just did probably doesn’t mean much but to me it was a make or break moment. Life is cruel because it only gives you one chance to make a first and lasting impression.

Two more days go by and then my phone rings. I was eating and stopped chewing as soon as I saw who was calling.
“Hello” I say
“Hi Ug ” says Zachary
“Ug?” I ask quizzically and checked the caller ID to be sure it wasn’t Andrew
“Yes, I’m not allowed to call you that?” He asked
“No you’re not, my ex called me that. Too many memories. Call me Ugo instead” I say. His voice was rich, soft and soothing .
“OK, tell me, how’s your training going? And why customs?” He asks

“Training is going on as scheduled, and I chose customs because it’s probably one of the few para-military agencies that doesn’t require me to fight if a war ever breaks out, Plus I get to travel around a lot and add daily to my collection ” I say
“Collection of what?” He asks interested, which was my aim.
“I write in a journal about the people, their culture, language, distinct physical features, my experiences with them etc. I start a new journal when I get to a new place. It’s like bottling up memories literally because I’m very detailed in my study and writing. I did that in the university, and again when I went for service. Now I’m working on a third one because I’ll soon pass out and get posted. I’m hoping one day, these journals I call my collection, will be worth a lot and be used alongside textbooks in classrooms.” I say

“Wow, that is amazing. I’d like to read the first and second if you don’t mind” he says
“Sure, why not” I say “Do you work?” I ask
“Yes, for an IT firm. I’m also investing in a lot of other businesses on the side. The secret to wealth is to have multiple sources of income. I hope to start up a business of my own soon, but first I have to do my MBA to give me some credibility and to attract potential investors in the field I plan to go into.” He ends, he’s being as vague as possible and I know It’s because he doesn’t trust me yet and I understand.

“That’s wonderful” I say “What have you been up to though, you’ve been AWOL for almost two weeks now”
“I’ve been working on a new project at work, It’s really dicey so it needs all of my attention and brain power. Its beginning to break even now and that’s why i can relax and do other things. Plus I don’t go online so often because I have addictions I’m trying to overcome, that’s also why I use a torch light phone for now.” He says
“What addictions? ” I ask, interested
“I’m sorry, I can’t disclose that now. So why are you a rebel of sorts?” He asks to make his refusal sting less
“Because I have a need to stand apart and be different, to not be carried off by the crowd like a current down convention’s stream. A need to maintain my individuality, unchanged by fads and trends. I also see the role of a woman in society differently. Now i’m not a feminist or whatever but in my version i have as much right as a man to do whatever i want with my life. To dream big and make my own decisions. Marry when and if i want, choose not to have kids or even cook. Anything that doesn’t put me in a strait jacket. People see it as being rebellious, an unwillingness to conform to norms, i see it as being me. I like to challenge authority and question rules and commands. I force people to think and prove that their way is better than mine, they often fail to-do so.” i say

“Hmm i see, but if you hate rules and question authority then why join an institution notorious for strict adherence to rules and regulations and where disobedience is not tolerated?” He asks
“Good question, my love for uniforms and traveling are enough to tame me for a while i guess. Plus the rules are bendable and the regulations porous, you just have to know all the right people and you become untouchable” i say with a lot of satisfaction.
“You have it all thought out don’t you? An answer for everything.” He says with an emotion that is alien to me and therefore i have no name for
“No, actually i don’t. And spending time alone getting to know myself was worth it. But there are things that keep me up at night though which i have no answers to and i would like some. For example, what addictions do you have?” I say. I know i’m pushing it but i can’t help it, i am curious for Africa.

“I’m serious. I can’t and won’t disclose that to you right now. Let it go, OK?” He says with finality
“Alright ” i said pursing my lips and rolling my eyes. Stung again, i think I’ve had enough for one night. I try to say good night quickly, but he reads my thoughts and beats me to it
“I’m sorry that was rather harsh. It’s OK if you don’t want to talk anymore.” He says
“No, it’s OK. I’m sorry i pushed. It’s personal, you don’t have to tell me, everyone has secrets ” I say and my mind goes to that one thing i could never tell anyone. The one thing that would haunt me till death, the payment for my sins like i like to call it.
“I’m glad you understand” he says “one more thing, i look forward to hearing your grace story, but do it whenever and however you want”
“Alright. But definitely not now, i’m exhausted and my bed is seductively calling out to me so we’ll talk later?” I say trying to stifle my yawn and eating the last bit of food off my plate. It was 10:30pm and i was tired all of a sudden.
“OK. Have a nice night.” He said and hung up. Just like that. Just like the last time we spoke, without waiting for a response. How rude! But i was too tired to care frankly. Went to bed and had dreams of walking to secondary school alone and running from flesh eating zombies …

We talked back and forth constantly after that and i learned he had an estranged girlfriend, he was a church boy and had very few friends. He’d call and talk till he ran out of airtime and i would call back till the same thing happened. Whatever free time i had, and i didn’t have a lot, was either spent talking to him or writing and it didn’t take long before we got fond of each other. I kept a respectful distance emotionally by being careful with my words and how i use them and so did he. I completed my training and got posted to Lagos. After months of communication, he randomly popped the question. He called and asked if we could meet. I say sure why not? We decided on a restaurant and time.

I was indifferent when the day came, not the usual anxious me when meeting a person for the first time. I was cool and calm and it surprised me, maybe it’s because i only see him as a friend and nothing more. Not a threat emotionally, he had become my comfort and intellectual zone. Plus i wasn’t looking for love, one year was still too soon for me and i was enjoying my drama free life. For the first time in years i was single and i saw things with so much clarity now, things i’d never been able to see or think about before because i was always emotionally involved with someone. It was like being in a noisy polluted environment and then suddenly moving to the suburbs where the air is cleaner and the streets quieter and peaceful. Or being a drug addict and going to rehab and gaining back control of my life again, it was a liberating feeling. I had time and the resource to do as i pleased and to find out things about myself i could only find out by being alone.

“Hello, i’m on my way to Ikeja. Don’t be late i hate waiting” i said when he picked up the phone
“Umm you should have called before leaving your house but it’s okay” he said
“What’s that supposed to mean? Didn’t we have an agreement? If you’re not ready we can postpone it” i said a bit irritated
“No, just that i’m in a meeting with my father at his house and i’m not sure when it will end but i’m hoping soon” he said
“Okay, fine next Saturday then” i say
“No no no, today. Please” he says
“But you’re busy and i don’t want to be kept waiting” i stress the last word
“I’ll be done before you get here” he says
“Fine.” I hang up

When i got to Ikeja, i brought out my phone to call him and saw a text informing me of the change of plans.
“Please can you come to my dad’s house instead? This meeting is going to last longer than i anticipated. It’s just a bus away. If you get upset and go back home I’ll understand but i really want to see you today” it read

I didn’t know what to feel, but anger was topping the list. Did i not give him enough room to back out? And shouldn’t he be making all the extra effort since he’s the one who won’t take a rain cheque? I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. After weighing my options, i figured there was no sense in coming all this way and going home without seeing him so i replied the text asking for the address. Thankfully it was in Ikeja too. My day was slowly going downhill, little did i know it was about to get worse.

To be continued …